Nixing the right addictions

Birthdays usually begin with resolutions. The most common resolutions, I have noticed, are to give up some forms of addiction or the other. Over the years I have seen many of my friends resolve to give up smoking, drinking, chocolates, caffeine, speeding, hash, carbs, transfats, going late to work, sleeping with other peoples wives. The list is long but, luckily, most resolutions dont last that long. They are not meant to.

My birthday was on Saturday. I did my usual. I switched off my everyday life, pondered over things that matter to me, none of them of any earth shaking importance to either me or the world at large. I went into what I call a retreat. Its a space I occupy for a couple of days. Yes, there were things I was supposed to do which I didnt, much to the disappointment of my friends and family. But then, this is one day I keep for myself. And no, I have no desire on that day to contemplate any kind of denial. Ergo, I dont make any resolutions. On the contrary, I try on every birthday to acquire some new addictions, live my life richer, fuller, learn something new.

I recommend you do the same. Spend the year being nice to yourself, do stuff you want you. Make Yes your birthday resolution, not No. The world has changed, I admit. But not everything people once did is wrong. Whether it was Audrey Hepburn who made smoking the ultimate fashion statement by sporting that elegant, long, black cigarette holder in Breakfast at Tiffanys or Dylan Thomas who drank all day and most nights writing the best poetry of his generation. If you dont believe me, listen to Richard Burton, another brilliant Welshman and one of the great actors of all time, who also drank far too much, reading Dylans poems. Now, thats life altering.

Nothings as bad as its made out to be if you enjoy it. You dont have to judge it. Why must I judge Jim Morrison for the drugs he took. I would rather judge him by the songs he wrote, the music he made? Aldous Huxley claimed the windows of the mind, the doors of perce! ption wo uld never open without mescaline. He won the Nobel Prize. Ginsberg wrote his best lines smoking up in a samshan ghat beside the Ganga. Grudge him that? Would you grudge Kennedy his many indiscretions, including Marilyn Monroe, when he ran the affairs of the state so well that people still describe his times as Camelot?

Its best to stop worrying about things like smoking, drinking, drugs or adultery. Its time to focus instead on the stuff we can give up to make India the nation it ought to be. What about giving up paying bribes for a year? See the difference it makes to your life if you just follow the traffic lights instead. If it works for you, take the next step. Tell every bribe seeker to go stuff himself. Trust me. You will feel proud of yourself. It may hurt to begin with. Bribe seekers are bad people. They will harass you, intimidate you. But they cant diminish you. And, the best thing is, if you dont take bribes or pay them, you can look every politician or Government officer in the eye and say: Im better than you.

Lets also resolve not to make divisive comments during the year. Criticise terrorism, not Muslims. Abuse Mayavati, not the lower castes. Even though you may hate reservations. Dont crack nasty jokes about other communities. Dont look away from the poor as if they dont exist. Reach out and help them if you can with small things. Old clothes, blankets, books, magazines. No, not everyone poor is illiterate: Change your stereotypical ideas. Pack up the extra food you ordered in the restaurant. Give it to street kids. Feed biscuits to stray dogs. I have done it for years; never been bitten. Put water out on your window for the birds. Fight for every tree in the neighbourhood. They protect you. Not that rascal builder who wants to cut it down, grab every open space in the city he can lay his filthy hands on.

Give up your addiction to vandalism. We may hate to admit it, but most of us are vandals by sheer habit. Some deface historical monuments. Others damage public proper! ty. A ne w train, within days of being introduced, has its seats ripped off, fans stolen, toilets filthy and stinking. There are a hundred better ways to grab headlines than stoning buses or removing fish plates, endangering hundreds of lives. Stop chewing paan and spitting in the lift or staircase. Stop peeing outside the pot in a public toilet. Enjoy the company of beautiful women. Dont grope them in crowded trains or buses.

Its all easy and much more fun than giving up smoking, drinking, drugs or sex with your neighbours wife. And its even more fun to stop blaming others and doing a few right things yourself.